Skip to main content

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish

Have you ever wondered how many movies there are that are called "A Cinderella Story"? I (Katy) have. I tried searching imdb.com to get an exact number, but after sixty seconds of searching, I gave up. There were at least 7.

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not a huge fan of Cinderella. I guess the whole story just bums me out. Abuse is not awesome. But I found this gem on Netflix and decided to give it a whirl. I am so angry. It's rare that a movie makes me angry because it's so bad, but this has moved to the top of the list. it's also rare for me to hate a movie at all, because I genuinely love terrible movie (I'm looking at you every Hallmark movie ever made).

I didn't watch the preview for this one because they generally reveal the entire plot, including the end, so I was completely unprepared for the MUSICAL NUMBERS! And oh man, were they awful. I don't begrudge a movie for inserting musical numbers. I ordinarily love them. I have participated in musicals. My parents met as actors in a musical. They are my heritage. But when you cast two beautiful people who CAN'T SING as lead characters in a musical, you're gonna have a bad time. I ended up fast forwarding through most of them because I just could not handle the auto-tune. It was painful.

Our Cinderella in this version is named Kat (short for Kathryn, which is my name), so right off the bat I was all in. She is played by Laura Marano, who can also be seen in the Neflix Original Movie The Perfect Date, and several Disney productions, who I blame for making her think she's a singer. I recognized no one else in this film.

The story goes mostly how you would expect a Cinderella story to go. No real surprises. I was able to look past most of the plot holes (why does a 17 year old have two full time jobs??), the terrible acting, and the obviously not winter weather. But there was just one aspect that I could not get over. Kat has a pet French bulldog named Bruno, who is in a wheelchair. I love him and I want to take him home. The step family (lovingly referred to as "The Steps" by Kat) is awful to him throughout the movie. They never physically harm him, but they very clearly hate him. I cannot. Treating Kat the way the do is hard enough to watch. But the way they treat this helpless animal is so unnecessary. And the worst part of this, and the reason I think I hated this movie so much, is that at the end (SPOILER ALERT) after Kat has been rescued by her prince, there is no resolution for Bruno! What happened to him? Has he been left with the terrible steps? Does Kat go and rescue him? Does he make his own escape? I need a sequel, and I need it to be Bruno's story. Hopefully a story that ends with him at my house. Forever. I literally could not sleep that night because I was so distressed about poor, poor Bruno. I know it's a movie, and that the real dog (who the internet tells me is named Capone) is ok. But in an alternate universe, he is out there. Lost and alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that if you are desperate for a Christmas movie, and have nothing else to watch, maybe don't watch this one. It's available for streaming on Netflix, and for $1.99 you can rent it on Amazon (but for sure don't do that.)


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hot Frosty

  Hot Frosty. Y'all, take a deep breath and understand that this movie is called HOT. FROSTY. Someone said, "Frosty, but make him sexy." And Netflix said, "Yes, please!" If not for the casting, I (Katy) probably would have skipped this one altogether. Fans of Schitt's Creek will recognize Dr. Ted Mullens (real name Dustin Milligan) as our titular Frosty. Our leading lady is played by the heir to the Toaster Strudel empire herself, Lacey Chabert. Lauren Holly, who many of my fellow millennials will know from Dumb & Dumber, is one of the top billed actors, but I don't remember seeing her face even one time, and I watched this twice for some inexplicable reason. To truly enjoy this movie, you have to suspend all reality. The people in this movie do not live in the same world where you and I live. If you're looking for logic, reason, or really any kind of sanity at all, this movie is not for you. You will leave this movie with more questions than ans...

Falling for Christmas

  After a not-so-brief hiatus, I'M (Katy) BACK! And who better to welcome us back than our drama queen, Lindsay Lohan? Released a year ago (when I watched it and then immediately forgot every single thing about it), this movie was Miss Lohan's first movie back after an also 3 year hiatus, so it felt fitting. Join me on this journey that Netflix describes as, " Overboad meets The Princess Switch",  where we'll hopefully get answers to questions such as: Will they find the true spirit of Christmas? Will anyone kiss under the mistletoe? Will they get their Christmas miracle and save the lodge? And why is that little girl constantly smiling? This movie opens with what I imagine are real live scenes from Lindsay Lohan's actual life. If she's not starting every morning off being served caviar and champagne I don't even know what she's doing with her life. Lindsay (henceforth know interchangeably as Sierra and Sarah) is the daughter of an extremely wealth...

The Princess Switch: Switched Again

 If you're looking for a movie that forces you to suspend all semblance of reality in order to enjoy it then The Princess Switch: Switched Again is the movie for you! There is no way that any of the events in this move could take place and the entire premise of the show is a non-issue to begin with. There is no reason this move should have been made other than a lot of people watched the original last year and Netflix doesn't want to come up with anything new because they know we're all stuck at home paying for their service no matter what.  I don't even know where to begin with my synopsis for this movie. The whole thing is so contrived and I am certain that you'll all be confused very soon but we'll give it a shot. We begin with Stacy who is from Chicago but is now married to the Prince she met in the original Princess Switch when she entered a baking contest in Belgravia two years ago. Stacy's best friend, Kevin, who is also a baker, began dating Duchess...