This movie had little chance of being any good right from the get go. First of all, it's a sequel and those are never as good as the original. And this one's original was truly awful. There were so many ways that they had so suspend reality that even with my love for movies like this, I just could NOT believe it. I have heard from multiple people that this may be the most difficult movie they've ever tried to watch. One woman told me she turned it off and she LOVES these holiday specials. Katy, this blog's co-creator, took 4 days to make it through and described it as a "harrowing experience".
3. The movie begins mere weeks before Christmas- which is their wedding day- and apparently nobody has started planning the actual wedding yet? The timeline makes no sense. She meets the wedding planner and has her dress fitted just days before the wedding. As Katy put it: "I've watched a lot of Say Yes to the Dress and that's not possible!"
4. There are worker's strikes due to some of the king's new initiatives and Amber keeps saying something doesn't add up as if adding two plus three will suddenly solve all the country's problems. We never really learn what the issues are and when they do miraculously figure it out the economy snaps back to perfect overnight.
5. They welcome the royal cousin, Simon, back to the fold without so much as a blink of an eye. If you remember, he is the one who conspired to take the crown from Prince Richard in the first movie. I am pretty sure something that treasonous wouldn't be overlooked so easily. They are continually rude to him so I guess that's his punishment.
Overall, I get the sense that they are trying to mirror the suspected drama around Meghan Markle's entry into the British Royal Family. I love Meghan Markle and I don't really buy into any of the drama around her marriage to Prince Harry, I think it's a lot of media manufacturing. However, this movie really plays into some of that hype and suspicion and it seems to do so in pretty ill taste. Amber writes a blog that they censor and threaten to shut down. Her family is painted as uncouth and embarrassing. They poke fun at the princess wanting a simple wedding gown and they try to make her wear the most gaudy concoction I have ever laid eyes on. The royal staff demand exact obedience to archaic and illogical protocol including her choice of jewelry. (By the way, the "crown jewels" they make her wear look like they were bought at a Claire's mall kiosk.) The King and his attempts to move forward into a more modern age are viewed with suspicion and met with protest. I almost wish Meghan and Harry hadn't gotten married this year just so they wouldn't have made this ghastly movie.
Now, let's just talk about some of the nerve grinding characters. Amber's father (who is a totally different actor with a completely different personality from the original) makes me almost sad. As one of my friends put it: "I'm sad they're making the dad look like such a loser". He is obtuse and overplayed as a grungy, uncultured New York diner owner with a thick, fake accent. It's like he has never been in public or spoken to other humans before. I would say he's the most annoying character in the movie but unfortunately, at 11 minutes in we meet Sahil, the wedding planner. His accent might be even more fake that Amber's fathers and he is dripping with offensive stereotypes. I honestly can't believe that they wrote a character that culturally insensitive in today's world.
Our sequel begins it's barrage of reality suspensions literally from the very first moment.
1. Amber lives alone in her tiny New York apartment. I am pretty sure that the moment she became engaged to the Prince she would have a slew of security around her at all times. She may even relocate to the country she will be Queen of one day. Maybe?
2. She flies to Aldovia in coach with her father and is surprised that the palace sent the "royal limos". Once again, where is the security? The opening sequence makes it seem as if she's been flying around the globe all year so I am not sure why she's surprised at the paparazzi and limos waiting for her.
1. Amber lives alone in her tiny New York apartment. I am pretty sure that the moment she became engaged to the Prince she would have a slew of security around her at all times. She may even relocate to the country she will be Queen of one day. Maybe?
2. She flies to Aldovia in coach with her father and is surprised that the palace sent the "royal limos". Once again, where is the security? The opening sequence makes it seem as if she's been flying around the globe all year so I am not sure why she's surprised at the paparazzi and limos waiting for her.
3. The movie begins mere weeks before Christmas- which is their wedding day- and apparently nobody has started planning the actual wedding yet? The timeline makes no sense. She meets the wedding planner and has her dress fitted just days before the wedding. As Katy put it: "I've watched a lot of Say Yes to the Dress and that's not possible!"
4. There are worker's strikes due to some of the king's new initiatives and Amber keeps saying something doesn't add up as if adding two plus three will suddenly solve all the country's problems. We never really learn what the issues are and when they do miraculously figure it out the economy snaps back to perfect overnight.
5. They welcome the royal cousin, Simon, back to the fold without so much as a blink of an eye. If you remember, he is the one who conspired to take the crown from Prince Richard in the first movie. I am pretty sure something that treasonous wouldn't be overlooked so easily. They are continually rude to him so I guess that's his punishment.
Overall, I get the sense that they are trying to mirror the suspected drama around Meghan Markle's entry into the British Royal Family. I love Meghan Markle and I don't really buy into any of the drama around her marriage to Prince Harry, I think it's a lot of media manufacturing. However, this movie really plays into some of that hype and suspicion and it seems to do so in pretty ill taste. Amber writes a blog that they censor and threaten to shut down. Her family is painted as uncouth and embarrassing. They poke fun at the princess wanting a simple wedding gown and they try to make her wear the most gaudy concoction I have ever laid eyes on. The royal staff demand exact obedience to archaic and illogical protocol including her choice of jewelry. (By the way, the "crown jewels" they make her wear look like they were bought at a Claire's mall kiosk.) The King and his attempts to move forward into a more modern age are viewed with suspicion and met with protest. I almost wish Meghan and Harry hadn't gotten married this year just so they wouldn't have made this ghastly movie.
Now, let's just talk about some of the nerve grinding characters. Amber's father (who is a totally different actor with a completely different personality from the original) makes me almost sad. As one of my friends put it: "I'm sad they're making the dad look like such a loser". He is obtuse and overplayed as a grungy, uncultured New York diner owner with a thick, fake accent. It's like he has never been in public or spoken to other humans before. I would say he's the most annoying character in the movie but unfortunately, at 11 minutes in we meet Sahil, the wedding planner. His accent might be even more fake that Amber's fathers and he is dripping with offensive stereotypes. I honestly can't believe that they wrote a character that culturally insensitive in today's world.
Now that we've addressed a portion of the the giant pile of garbage that makes up this ridiculousness movie we will look for traces of the actual plot: the financial crisis plaguing the country and it's ensuing strikes. Wait, isn't this movie about a wedding?? Single-handedly fixing the economy becomes Amber's project and she pulls out her trusty notepad to do some sleuthing. She and her friends meet a mystery man in a seedy bar and she scribbles "Meadowlark" and "Fishy" on her paper. Wow. She is so good at her job, you guys. So good.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the royal advisers are the ones causing the crisis and embezzling money left and right but somehow everyone is just brain-dead enough to overlook it. I mean, we already knew these people weren't bright- they hired a total stranger to be a nanny at the palace without so much as checking her ID in the original. The real kicker is when they decide to let Princess Emily- who is the ripe old age of 12, by the way- do the computer hacking needed to find who owns the shell company siphoning money while Amber and her friends get drunk at her bachelorette party. That sentence alone should make you not watch this movie!
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the royal advisers are the ones causing the crisis and embezzling money left and right but somehow everyone is just brain-dead enough to overlook it. I mean, we already knew these people weren't bright- they hired a total stranger to be a nanny at the palace without so much as checking her ID in the original. The real kicker is when they decide to let Princess Emily- who is the ripe old age of 12, by the way- do the computer hacking needed to find who owns the shell company siphoning money while Amber and her friends get drunk at her bachelorette party. That sentence alone should make you not watch this movie!
In the end, the economy is fixed overnight and Amber and Richard end up getting married despite everything. Amber wears the dress of her own design which may be even more hideous dress than the one Sahil created for her. The royal wedding looks like it cost about $200 to put together and the only reason I liked it was because I could sense the end of the movie approaching. Unfortunately, I still had to endure the reception which features Princess Emily whipping a gold cloth off of a hidden DJ station to play an ear piercing song to which everyone does the conga. Yes, the conga. I am telling you- the atrocity goes from start to finish.
If I could roll my eyes hard enough to satisfy my distaste for this movie my face would probably eject my eyeballs. I know I have said for a long time that Christmas Crush is the worst of the worst holiday rom-coms but I think I may have found a new benchmark for terrible. If you want to submit yourself to the harrowing experience of watching A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding let me know what you think.
I will now list some things I DID like about this movie: the horse that King Richard rides through the snow and the blooper reel at the end.
I have to give this movie one star, it's completely unwatchable and almost everyone I know who has attempted it hasn't been able to finish.
If I could roll my eyes hard enough to satisfy my distaste for this movie my face would probably eject my eyeballs. I know I have said for a long time that Christmas Crush is the worst of the worst holiday rom-coms but I think I may have found a new benchmark for terrible. If you want to submit yourself to the harrowing experience of watching A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding let me know what you think.
I will now list some things I DID like about this movie: the horse that King Richard rides through the snow and the blooper reel at the end.
I have to give this movie one star, it's completely unwatchable and almost everyone I know who has attempted it hasn't been able to finish.
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